I’m so busy/ toxic but I really need to let this all out.

So this is how my usual week looks like:

(plating = quiz, 20 items; post test = after discussion, usually 10 items) There are days where we have an exam on thursdays at 1:30PM and like this past 3 weeks, we don’t have that much exams/quizzes BUT we have practical exams. Tomorrow will be the 5th (out of 6) practical exam and since it is already finals, it is usually cover to cover, meaning the coverage is from the first ever topic this semester until the very last. So that’s around 4 months worth of information.

On top of this weekly schedule, I still need to read in advance and study for the next day’s exam. As my professor have said, “It doesn’t matter if you have an exam the next day for 1/4 subject, you still have to read and prepare for the other 3/4 subjects, with exam or not. You give equal amount of time per subject.”

I’m honestly not exaggerating for you to pity me. I’m even trying to explain it in a lowkey way just for you to understand how blessed you are that 24 hours is enough for you. I’ve asked advises from Christian doctors or seniors, and all they say is pray and that most of the time, 24 hours is never enough.

Med school is already hard and frustrating, so please if you know a medical student, please try to understand when they say that they’re busy studying because we really are. There are moments where we give in and actually go out and spend time with friends and family but we constantly think “oh, I need to study”. Honestly, no matter how hard I/we try, we’ll always be thinking that we should be home or in a coffee shop just reading and studying. There are times that this makes us feel guilty that we are not studying.

So the semi rant part–

I think I’ve already said this before, not to discriminate or something, but no one really understands a medical student’s schedule/ “busyness” unless that person has a health allied degree or has a family member who’s taking medicine or in a health allied career. Honestly, if there is just a way for us to film our daily routine for a month, that would be sooooooo great. Ask any doctor, those who are not super genius like me who needs to actually study hard, if they’ve had 6-8 hours of sleep per day when they were a medical student. All my professors told us beforehand that sleep, social life, “normal” body clock, and so many other things are to be sacrificed for that M.D. at the end of our names. AND. IT. WILL. BE. WORTH. IT.

There are also things/items where no matter what you say, I will not buy. As a future doctor, I don’t easily believe in drinking this, drinking that because of health benefits or miracles that a person you know has experience. I need scientific explanation. I need more proof. Diseases don’t always show up within 5 years, sometimes it shows 10, 20 years later AND I’VE SEEN CASES LIKE THAT. Years of drinking stuff for this and that benefit but no medical proof, just by word of mouth and what happened? Kidney stones, after more that 15 years, or maybe even more. So no. Hard no.

So…I just needed to let that out because I was really frustrated. I respect that person so much and I don’t want to answer back to her so I just let her talk and talk and talk. I just don’t like it when people who has no clue or has not gone through or is not going through what we are going through, gives us advise as if they went through and are experts. Even our professors can’t even give us proper advise because as they have said “it’s different per student. It’s not a ‘one-size fits all'”. (How many “going through” was that? Comment down the correct number and you get a free…virtual hug!!!) This is why sometimes I prefer talking to fellow med students, or those in the health allied, or those who has siblings who are in the medical field, it is because we understand each other and not make each other feel like what we are doing is bad or wrong. 😔

haaaaaaaaay. I need to clear my mind so I can focus better, I was really that bothered. Hay. More understanding people in this world please. 🙏🏻😔

Tired but still fighting for that M.D.,

Issa 💜

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